I think there’s a lot of reasons why dads fail to be there for their kids. I think most times it’s not volitional, but consequential. Sure, there are those who make a clear conscious decision to cut ties and head out of town. But even in those cases it’s not as simple as waking up one morning and choosing to leave behind both a void and a mess.

Many dads, or people for that matter, are just bound by their own problems and pain. Life is tough. We have baggage. The thought of guiding and molding a child into a mature and healthy adult while not being one oneself seems an impossible task. And so many dads retreat from the extra weight of responsibility. The word void doesn’t come close to describing what is left behind.

They’re not just leaving behind a mess. They are a mess. They’re aren’t just off fighting their own demons. They’ve left behind a legion for the next generation to fight.

36 years later I am still fighting them. But thank God, I’m actually fighting them. I don’t want to just fight my own. I want to help others fight theirs too. My healing journey isn’t just about getting better. It’s about helping my kids grow up whole and with a strong foundation. It’s about helping fill the void I see in the lives that surround me.