Pain, tears, disappointment.

Heartache.  Failure.

Not, “why me?” but “why not me?”

Am I walking through unscathed? Am I strong? 

I hate the thought that creeps in… maybe I am better.

I remind myself of grace I did not earn.

Judgement is swallowed by love and empathy.

I have my scars of my own, and now fresh wounds that are not my own.

 

How do I love without judging?

How do I stoop down without condescending?

How do I empower without enabling?

How do I give out without giving out?

 

I tell myself it’s not on me, but who else is going to do it?

I want my family to be better.  I want my family together.

I want to right the wrongs.

 

I pray that You really are who I want You to be. I pray that my hope isn’t in vain. I pray it isn’t up to me and it isn’t on my shoulders.