Category: Uncategorized
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I’m officially Benny’s favorite now- the cool parent, the fun one. He is at a unique season in childhood where he is fixated on me. He wants to know where I was, where I am, and where I’m going. He wants me to be the one who walks him upstairs to bed at night and…
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Mulberry
I perched high in the massive branches of the mulberry tree, escaping the pain of the world around me. I consumed berry after berry until my little fingers and lips were the color of a deep bruise. I wasn’t just feeding myself. I was caring for myself. The adventure of climbing branch after branch… the…
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Little bean
“Me llamo Daniel. Tengo cuarenta y dos años. Mi apodo es Frijolito.” I was back in Guatemala and was ready to spout off my greeting to the members of The Rhino’s. I bounced lightly on the spongy turf of the field, eager to play some futbol, but even more eager to see the boys. One…
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A new picture
I’m told he was a prankster and fun to be around. He loved to party. He loved to laugh and smile. But when I try to picture his face, all I remember is a mustache and a furrowed eyebrow. Only about 4-5 pictures of him remain- and he has a stoic expression in all of…
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Fixer upper
Bethany and I love driving through Riverside and admiring the beautiful historic homes. We will often point out specific homes that catch our eye. We were on the street I’ve intentionally driven down hundreds of times before. It’s right on the way to a strip of restaurants that we enjoy eating at. I always slow…
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Softer, stronger
I have a somewhat irrational belief that I’m physically stronger and more capable than I was in my younger days. My back often reminds me this isn’t quite true… and today’s sore hamstrings remind me my aging cells no longer recover at the same rate they used to. My softish belly hides the abs that…
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Loved
“What are you most proud of?” she asked. He paused for a moment, then responded softly. “That I graduated the apprenticeship… and that my family loves me.” In this moment (season) of darkness, there wasn’t much else that came to his mind. He could have said that he had previously served as the president of…
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Why not me
Pain, tears, disappointment. Heartache. Failure. Not, “why me?” but “why not me?” Am I walking through unscathed? Am I strong? I hate the thought that creeps in… maybe I am better. I remind myself of grace I did not earn. Judgement is swallowed by love and empathy. I have my scars of my own, and…
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My Addy
I smile thinking about your spunk and carefree attitude. I can still see you running around the farm, boots up to your knees, and a hen under each arm. I’m also pained knowing that being a 13 year old girl is tough. I hate to see the frustration and insecurity that you experience because of…
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Still here
Couple of gut punches this week. Tuesday night I took mom to the ER because of stroke symptoms. We returned home at 4am. Thankfully by that time the symptoms had subsided. We’ve got more labwork and imaging to do to hopefully find out what happened. Big brother has been in the hospital again for the…
My dad 