Category: Uncategorized
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Still recovering
I spent 36 hours with a bunch of hyper, talkative, and happy middle school students this weekend. It’s funny they call it a retreat when for me it was anything but that. 48 hours later I’m still recovering. I trudged through the games. I was overwhelmed with the large group times. That level of noise…
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Today
Today was a special day. Rarely do I get the opportunity to fill a day with the amount of purpose as I did over the last 12 hours. Today I picked up two recovering addicts and spent half the day with them, doing manual labor together, chatting about our backgrounds, and enjoying a nice lunch…
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Blah.
One day I can be zeroed in, focused on purpose. My eyes are open for moments of significance. My heart is full, my mind is clear. I am prayerful. I am thankful. At some point a switch flips. I don’t quite sense it when it happens. But a couple days or weeks go by and…
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Stop
This four year old kid stood up to his dad and stood up for his mom. Dad was standing over mom and yelling at her; she was sitting on the couch crying. No way in hell would she let someone treat her like that now, but at that moment she was a broken mess. There…
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Hero
I loved putting on your camo fatigues and playing “marines” by myself for hours on end. I remember being so enamored walking through your barracks at the end of boot camp. I got a flat top haircut at Earl’s barbershop to match. You made my day when you showed up at my school lunch in…
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$87
We had a jam-packed day yesterday. Woke up in Richmond at 4am. Breakfast in Philly at Reading Market. Lunch in Manhattan near Central Park. Pizza and wings with the in-laws in Schenectady. In the past I would have commented something along the lines of, “what a fun day.” I was much more deliberate with my…
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Because of him
“I didn’t need you.” It felt good to say it. I felt anger and conviction as soon as I said those words. I was able to hold on to that truth for about 5 seconds and then spoke my other truth. “That was a lie.” I broke down in tears. I was sitting with Jonathan…
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Richard
I typed up a short text message to you the other day. “Miss you and wish you were here.” I of course didn’t hit send. Didn’t feel like getting a response back from a stranger saying, “who dis?” I wish I could meet with you for another burger at the Sheik. I wish you could…
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A void.
I think there’s a lot of reasons why dads fail to be there for their kids. I think most times it’s not volitional, but consequential. Sure, there are those who make a clear conscious decision to cut ties and head out of town. But even in those cases it’s not as simple as waking up…
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Anything but strong
Eight. Eight memories of my father is all I clearly remember. Here’s one. I remember being alone with him in a plain apartment in NYC for what felt like a very long time. I remember laying in a small bed with him. I remember getting up with him to go to the bathroom. I remember…
My dad 